I met a girl on my most recent bootcamp with Future and Fader. It was 1:30am, and I was seeing a student into what would probably be his last set of the evening, when I saw an opportunity to open that was too good to pass up. Two super cute girls, one short and one tall. I put my foot on the chair next to them and announced, "I don't care when your friend is coming back, I'm putting my foot on this chair."
"We're not saving that chair for anyone."
"I don't care. This is my foot's chair now. Get used to it not belonging to your friend anymore."
They opened right up. I locked in by leaning back against the bar with the two girls at either side. My student came back, so I basically split my time between gaming the tall girl and trying to DHV the student to the short one, who he seemed more interested in.
ShortOne (to me): Are you really a comedian?
Me: Have you bored my awesome friend already? Go and try to win back his love. I'm busy trying not to get annoyed to death by your tall friend here.
TallOne was all over me. Within 8 minutes she was pressing herself against my junk and putting her hands on my chest, laughing at everything I had to say. She even jumped right into my sexual frame.
Me: Is your friend here wearing a cool tee-shirt also?
TallOne: No. I dressed her today.
Me: Tell me again, only slowly.
(pause)
TallOne: I took off the shirt she was wearing and she started rubbing oil all over herself.
Me: And what were you doing?
TallOne: I was touching myself.
Stick a fork in this one. She's done.
This girl was ready to rock, and it was mainly because of a valuable lesson I had just learned: when a girl is giving you vibe, pretend that she has just won your interest. She gave me her number, and to reward her I sent her a text that read, "You are a rockstar." She got it, looked at it, then shot me a huge smile and put her hands all over me again.
TallOne: You couldn't be cooler.
I know, TallOne.
At this point it was 2am and bootcamp was nearly over. I have a day job, also, that I really wanted to go home and sleep for. I was not worried about losing this girl, so I left, promising to call her later.
She texted me a few times that night, trying to get me to meet her out at another bar.
We shot texts back and forth till the next weekend, when we both had time to finally get back together. I tried to get her out earlier, but she kept bailing and pushing it off for a reason that would soon become very...shall we say...visible?
Around 11pm her friends joined Dr. Feelgood and I at a bar for flirting and good times. It was clearly on. I only needed to not suddenly turn retarded for this to end in sex. Dr. Feelgood can verify this.
About 20 minutes into our interaction I notice a red spot on her lip. Now, this could be a lot of things, so at first I wasn't worried. Sure, part of my brain declared that it was herpes and that we shouldn't have sex with her, but the other half quite rightly declared that it might not be herpes, and so we should have sex with her. Luckily, I had a Doctor with me to offer a second opinion.
Me: Please tell me that's not herpes on the lip of the girl who's going to have sex with me.
Dr. Feelgood: Where? Oh shit. That's herpes. We need to get the fuck out of here.
Suddenly it all made sense. We had a date earlier in the week that she canceled (because of her herpes outbreak), then when I tried to set up a date later she was hesitant, which translated now into "I'll have to wait and see if the herpes goes away by then." Apparently, it hadn't, as it wasn't fully gone by today yet.
Dr. Feelgood has been an incalculable help in advancing my game, but that night he went above and beyond the call of duty. I would have fucked that girl had he not been there to give clarity to my alcohol addled brain, and in doing so he has elevated his rank from "Super Awesome Dude" to "Greatest Human Being Alive."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment