Thursday, July 31, 2008

The exciting LR conclusion: Junto

When we left our hero, he had just left his friends in a bar as they closed their tab and made their way home to masturbate. BB, seeing opportunity walking by in the form of a cute girl (Junto), cleverly initiates a conversation, as he is now free to be his awesome self without the accusatory stares and cockblockery of his d-bag friends.

BB: Do you know the subways well? I'm trying to get the red line uptown.
Junto: I think it's a few blocks that way.
BB: That was the most excited telling of directions that I ever heard.
Junto: I'm having a really good day.
BB: Way to go. What happened?
Junto: Just had fun at work, then got a drink with some friends.
BB: I also had an awesome day today.
(Pause. Wait for her to ask. Test for/get her invested in the interaction. I believe this is called creating a "void")
Junto: What happened?
BB: I'm a fireman. I saved an extra five or six babies today. I usually save fifty two, but today it was like fifty seven-ish.
(Humor. Attraction spike)
Junto: That's a lot of babies.
BB: That's a lot of grateful mom's, which is why I became a fireman in the first place. (sexual framing) No, seriously, I just had fun at work today as well. I work at a restaurant and I really like the people I work with, then I just did a show which went really well.

POINT) That last little bit is filled with what I'm going to call identity bombs (though I'm sure someone in the community already has a name for it). If you say the above sentence to a girl who has no interest in you whatsoever, she will totally ignore it. If you say it to a girl that you've taken the effort to build a little attraction with, then they are like girl-crack. They want to know everything: what restaurant, why do you like the people, what'd you all do today that was so fun, what kind of show, why 'd it go well...etc.

When you set up those little identity bombs and they go off (ie the girl asks you to elaborate), then they explode (ie you get to elaborate with attraction/comfort material that is part of your identity). It turns you into a real person who has a life and experiences that she wants to hear about, so long as they don't involve carrying bungee cord in the trunk of your car to kidnap people you meet on the street.

If she asks, that's an IOI, plus you also just bought yourself a good ten or twenty minutes more of conversation, which means more physical escalation, more qualification, and more identity bombs, which is exactly what I did.

After a few minutes of convo, I bounced her from the street to a bar for chatty chat. At that point it is almost just a waiting game to see the best time to go in for the make out.

POINT) I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if a girl you met on the street twenty minutes prior is excited about getting a drink with you RIGHT NOW, then you can probably kiss her with no problem. At worst, you are assuming attraction, which you should be doing anyways.

I'm going to finish up with a deconstruction of the last 20 or so minutes with Junto. Over the past few weeks, I've been playing around with my own game to see what has the best effect as far as keeping women around as long as possible. I've always been a big believer in not making out with women in bars as it usually releases all the great sexual tension you built. In an effort to experiment and improve my game however, I started making out with Junto in the bar I bounced her to, about 45 minutes after I met her on the street.

YES, it did qualify her, but not in the way it should have (ie it could be purely physical) and YES, it did slow things down nicely to avoid the SNL and go for something more long term. also had the effect of creating a negative power swing. I became the "guy who wanted to make out and fool around," instead of the "guy who I wonder if I am cool enough for him to want to make out with me!"

It created an extra hurdle for me to overcome, and so I am once again going to state that one should never make out with women in bars, especially if you are going for the SNL. One should physically escalate up to the point of making out, but do not make out until you are in a sex location.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Incorprating Game Part II: Lame Friends vrs Going Solo/LR teaser

Tonight I was hanging out with a few friends of mine that do not know that I am involved in the pick up community. They are the kind of guys who will look at a hot girl all night and not talk to her. A problem sprung up in our relationship once I started actually talking to the hot girl, which only got exacerbated when I started getting the hot girl's number, then sleeping with the hot girl.

There are many different dynamics in human relationships, even between male friends. I (and I know I heard the same thing from a few different PUAs) used to always be relegated into the "loser" position in all my guy cliques; I was the one with no game, who would hilariously complain about my sad state. The problem is that my guy friends liked me in this role, and after I managed to take control and meet women and start to practice tactical seduction, they started to resent my success. "What happened to the old Big Business, who used to make us laugh with all his sorry tales?" They liked that I looked up to their social mastery, and once I surpassed them they began to get all passive aggressive and lame on me.

I needed to figure out how to deal with this. I don't want to ditch my friends, but I can't simply go back through the looking glass and forget all that I've learned and all the skills I've accrued. So I made a decision: I would be lame when I hung out with these guys. These would be my guy friends that I would not talk to women around. We would hang out, have guy time, then I would leave and go back to (big) business.

Tonight I was hanging out with this group of guys when something interesting happened: One of my friends wanted to know who directed "Nashville" and we couldn't remember. So I turned to the closest person, who happened to be a girl one of my friends was scoping out, and asked her. She didn't know, but we ended up talking for a few minutes, then I left to go hang again.

Only I wasn't allowed to go back. Suddenly it was "Why were you hitting on that girl?" and "What'd you say to her, man?" and "I knew you'd fuck it up! I knew you couldn't get her number!" I tried to explain that I wasn't hitting on her, and that I was simply having a conversation, but my feeble objections fell on deaf ears. They had already decided that this was simply some pathetic attempt to meet a cute girl, which is such a wrong attitude to have that I can't even begin to talk about how wrong it is. I told them I was simply asking her a question, then tried to change the subject, knowing they wouldn't understand.

There are a few points I'd like to make.

POINT: This may happen to you. You may roll with people who will not like that you are suddenly good with women. Do not be surprised (as I was) when it happens. Simply know that you have friends who can't handle you chatting up women in their presence. You don't have to lose them entirely if you don't want to. You can incorporate game into other elements of your life, and continue to enjoy your AFC friends on the side. And...never talk about fight club.

POINT: It is better to go out by yourself than with guys who are actively ruining your game. If you roll with a bunch of dudes that doesn't like to approach, then you are better off going out alone. If you have friends who like to try and fuck up your game to make themselves feel better about having none, then you are better off going out alone. If your wings are constantly draining value from your sets, then you are better off going out alone.

I left a my friends, and just as I exited the bar I ended up walking next to a super cute girl (we'll call her Junto, for reasons that only I will understand), only this time I was alone and could be Big Business again.

To be continued...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Textbook isolation

Tonight was night 4 of going out and kicking ass, only to find myself in deep comfort with some married woman. As I have stated before, I do not sleep with married women out of principal, so you can imagine my frustration at having my time wasted this whole weekend. The conversations were fun, the women were beautiful, but come on. The whole weekend and every girl I isolate is married?! Fuck you, statistics. You are testing my moral code and I don't like it.

Still, it reminded me of something to share with you guys.

This is textbook isolation. It has probably been said a hundred times, but I am going to reiterate it for you guys. It is, at the very least, an awesome tactic for guys going out sans wing.

It seems almost silly to devote a whole blog entry to it, but when my friend's saw me doing it tonight they were blown away. I figured, "Surely there is at least one person out there who DOESN'T already know to do this." This blog entry is for you, mysterious stranger.

You cannot isolate a two set without a wing. You try to just talk to one and the other gets pissy and drags her friend away so she has someone to chat to.

Now, a three (or more) set...that's different.

Open the set, get everyone to like you, then sort of start directing your conversation more towards your target than everyone else. I started next to my target, addressing the whole group, giving the obstacle's attention as a jealously plot line.

With any luck the obstacles will start to pick up the conversational slack once you start to focus on your target by just talking to each other. Once that happens, you slide over so that your target's back is facing her friends. Just move over to the bar stool while talking to distract from the fact that this is happening.

Seems obvious, right? You'd be surprised.

Technically this is more of a mini-isolation, but it serves it's purpose well. Just so long as they can't see each other and have secret silent girl communications to each other, then you are good.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Incorporating game into your life: Part I

When I first got started doing pick up, I would chastise myself for not approaching more when I was on the train. Constantly I would see beautiful women and not go chat with them. I used a lot of excuses, like, "I shouldn't approach because I'm not wearing my really cool clothes right now" or "She's probably got a boyfriend...who is somewhere else."

Then I ran into an excuse that I couldn't talk myself out of because it was totally valid. I didn't want to approach on the train not because I was scared to talk to a stranger, but because I didn't want to talk to ANYONE. When I'm on the train in the morning I'm tired, I'm on my way to work, I probably didn't sleep much the night before, and if the last few days is any indication, I'm hung over. If I'm not on my way to work, I'm usually on my way home after work, which means rush hour crowding and I'm even more tired from having been on my feet all day. When I am on the train, I am not in a good mood. I do not feel like chatting, even with someone I know, so why would I put myself through the added stress and strain of approaching and forcing a conversation for 45 minutes when I could be blissfully staring at the wall and fondly remembering blow jobs past?

Obviously there is a reason, and that is to get more blow jobs in the future.

This is all part of incorporating game into your life. One cannot just take a year off from seeing their friends, family, going to work, and paying bills to go approach women and get good at game (well, maybe some people can, but most of us can't). If one wants to get good, then one has to find a way of making game a part of their life without it taking over their life. This train dilemma of mine if an example of how life can get in the way of game, and when you need to decide which is more important at the moment.

Would you rather have your nice, relaxing train ride home without having to work or think too hard, or would you rather take a chance at meeting someone really cute and cool? Would you rather have the instant gratification of getting to chill out after a hard days work, or the potential for future sexual gratification?

It is also important that you are honest with yourself. If you are constantly sacrificing one area of your life over another, then part of you will suffer. If you hurt your work life because you are always out late gaming, then you might lose your job. If you never approach because you are tired from work, then you might never get good at game. Moderation is the key.

And so, in the name of moderation I made a deal with myself: I do not have to approach on the train when I am feeling shitty (like I usually do on the train) but I DO have to approach on the train when I am just feeling scared of approaching.

How can you tell the difference? Simple. Let's say that you are on the train and you see a really cute girl get on. You don't want to approach her but you don't know if it's because you are cranky or just having approach anxiety. Here is a simple test to tell the difference: Imagine that the girl is not a random cute girl but your best friend, or someone else that you would really like to talk to. Would you go over and talk to them, or pretend you didn't see them, slip on some shades, and feign sleep? If you are in a cranky mood you would probably feel pissed off that you were now obligated to chat with this person that you knew, but if you were not cranky then you would be excited about having the extra company.

So the next time you see someone you want to approach, take a second and think to yourself, "Is there anyone in the world who that could be that would make me want to talk with them?"

If there is...then you've got no excuse. Get in there!