Saturday, August 16, 2008

FR: Bra-less

I usually don't like to post reports unless there's a close involved, but this was another situation where I had to redefine where the line was, and I thought I'd share it with you guys.

I went out tonight with Soul and a few other gentlemen from the community. We jumped around to a few different venues, but didn't really find anything worthy of our exceptional skills. We ended up at this one joint and were shown to a table where two asian ladies were sitting. The bouncer shooed them off and we sat down. I found them later and introduced myself.

BB: I'm sorry you guys got shooed off our table. That was really rude of the bouncer. I'm gonna have to have a word with him about that. It's wrong to treat guests so brusquely.
Asian 1: That's okay. It's your table.
BB: But there's a nice way to kick free loaders off your table, and a not nice way. You guys weren't exactly free loaders, now that I think about it. You were...what's the word?
Asian 2: Carpet baggers?
BB: I don't even know what that means.
(They laugh)
BB: I think that's from the civil war or something. Speaking of which, you guys should meet my friends. They're the coolest guys in here.

I showed the two asians over to our table. They were instantly devoured by two of our company. I went back out into the fray and discovered a two set featuring the star of this report, Bra-less.

BB: Hello. I'm Big Business.
Bra-less: Hello.
BB: How do you feel about the people making out behind you? Is that making you uncomfortable? (FORESHADOWING!)
Bra-less: I would tell them to get a room, but they seem to be having such a good time.
BB: I just feel weird, because that guy was hitting on me, like, five seconds ago.
Bra-less: (laughs) Should we tell the girl he's making out with?
BB: I don't think it's something she needs to know. Besides, it's not his fault. Have you seen me?

I probably used jealousy plot lines/social proof more in this situation than any other specific tactic. I took Bra-less outside and made out with her for a bit (even though I KNOW this is the wrong thing to do. I'm a glutton for punishment) but got a little resistance, so we went back inside and I started re-flirting with her friend and the two asians, all the while pushing my friends onto Bra-less. She kept touching me to try and get my attention. I reciprocated, then continued talking to whoever I was with at the time. When I finally re-engaged with Bra-less she asked me to take her outside again.

We hit this little balcony area in the back of the bar where a ton of people were smoking and shooting the shit. I put her on the railing and slid between her legs. We made out for a bit. There was still some resistance, but there was more passion this time.

Bra-less: We're not having sex tonight.
BB: I know. I don't have sex with women the first night I meet them.
Bra-less: Right. You say that now, after I said it.

First time this hasn't worked for me, fellas. Remember the 95% rule. Everything we teach you works 95% of the time.

There are probably a few different things I could have done to try and pull this girl, but I decided to do the thing that was most on my mind: sexual escalation. I believe that sexual arousal in a woman is like a tea pot with many different release valves on it. Make out too hard, grind too frequently, or display too many qualities of the beta male and that pressure gets released REAL quick. Similar to the way the attraction knob works. The trick is to build the pressure while avoiding those little release valves.

To that end, I put my hands under her shirt and slowly made my way up. I was expecting to have my hands swatted away, or for her anti-slut defense to go off. I did not expect what happened next...

She takes off her bra and throws it in her purse, then takes my hands back under her shirt.

That shit is hot.

We then proceed to do things that humans don't usually do when there are innocent bystanders literally inches away from them. I was half turned on and half amazed. The two thoughts in my mind were "This is some sexy shit" and "I cannot believe you are letting me do this to you."

We went back and forth on what to do next. I suggested leaving to go get naked. She suggested doing more of what we were doing. We went back and forth on this for a few minutes, till I finally looked at my watch and remembered I had an early day.

Exactly why a woman would not go home with a dude who she would jack off in public is beyond me, but that's the female mind for you, fellas.

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