Friday, August 22, 2008

NYC Bootcamp Ballyhoo!

This weekend was not only another NYC bootcamp with The Don, but also the special one-day seminars of Day Game and Social Circle, which were both super gangster. Braddock and Soul have taken a lot of time (both infield and at the computer) to come up with comprehensive systems for demolishing their respective fields. I highly recommend both these seminars.

But that wasn't what was so hot about this weekend. What was amazing was having The Don, Braddock, Sphinx and Soul all in town at the exact same time. It was a fucking blast.

The students were great this weekend as well. I was definitely impressed with their progress and positive attitudes. Having fun with this stuff is half the battle. It will make you want to continue going out, and that is 90% of the game right there.
Here are some of the highlights from the weekend:

I'd never met Soul before, but he joined The Don, Braddock and I out for dinner on the first night, and within minutes we were all recounting stories of our incredible and retarded sexual exploits. It was so much fun it should have been illegal. True to form, Soul couldn't stop from doing street approaches, so Sphinx and I got a few free demonstrations of his Street/Day Game prowess.

The infield on the first night was crazy-party-fun-time. An old friend, Dr.Feelgood, joined us out, which only added to the retarded fun. I picked up a cougar who's tits I was fondling within 20 minutes. I managed this by keeping insane momentum up from the moment I met her, and jumping a few rungs in the physical escalation ladder. I really only remember how I opened her, though:

BB: Holy shit!
Cougar: What?
BB: You look like my friend Maria. I could have sworn you were her, so I came over to say hello.
Cougar: I'm not.
BB: You're like her mirror image. You could be her younger sister.
Cougar: (laughs) That is so the right thing to say.
BB: Well, I'm not gonna come over here and tell you that you look like her older, uglier sister. That wouldn't go over well. "Hey, you look like a fat and disgusting version of another friend of mine. Let me buy you a beer, you wart-covered troll version of my friend."

At 2am a few of us went to go get pizza with two Australian girls we'd picked up right before bailing. Braddock kept insisting they were Japanese, and that they should go back to China if they didn't like being in a country with "rules".

Meanwhile, one of our students didn't even make it to the venue because he was busy using the skills he'd learned at bootcamp to get laid.

The second night was equally fun and retarded. The Australian girls met us at the bar we were holding the infield at, yet didn't seem to think it was weird when guys kept coming up to us and asking us how their "sets" went. I saw my dream girl in a 4 set, but before I could even think of an opener, Sphinx, my new least favorite person ;), jumped on it and bounced her back to his hotel. You better be careful, asshole. I've got photos of you that could be...damaging.

Soul, meanwhile, didn't even show up to the infield until 1am on account of not being able to figure out how the NYC subway systems works, despite having been born and raised in a major metropolitan area. Braddock, the white trash Okla-homo, didn't have any such trouble not accidentally ending up in Brooklyn.

Meanwhile, another student didn't make it to the venue because he was busy using the skills he'd learned at bootcamp to get laid as well.

That's two students getting laid before going to the infield in one weekend, which has to be some kind of record.

After seminar we bounced to another bar for some random chatty. One of our newer instructors taught us all a new opener...

StinkFinger (with heavy Jersey accent): "Hey, look at these fucking broads! What? I don't even get a fucking thank you?!"

I have yet to see it work infield, but I could just be saying it wrong :)

Braddock entertained us all with his Australian accent, which sounded like an old British man, and was really only one sentence repeated over and over again: "Goddamn it, Braddock! I've had it up to here with your shenanigans and ballyhoo!"

I'm giving myself an award for The Most Fucked Up Thing Ever Said In Set. Actually, I'm giving myself both the Silver and Gold medal in this category, with the silver going to my 3 minute speech on what it's like to go down on the withered and wrinkled vaginas of grandmothers, and the Gold going to the sentence, "I'm so thin, I could put my whole body in your vagina and you probably wouldn't even feel it. I could throw a party in your womb for a whole weekend, probably." The girl I said both these sentences to fucking loved it, but do not attempt to repeat. It is for professionals only.

I think the funniest thing said all weekend, though, came after Social Circle and Day Game both got out and we all headed over to a bar for a night cap and some bad decisions. Soul took a sip of Braddock's beer and was surprised to find that it was a Blue Moon with 3 or 4 orange slices in it.

I guess Soul expected our little Okla-homo to be drinking something a little more red state-y, like Budweiser or Coors Light, because he shouted (with his proper English accent) "Braddock's drinking a beer with OJ in it?! Where's your usual mongoloid beverage?"

Soul, if you want to not sound hoity toity, you might want to avoid words like "mongoloid."

4 straight days of teaching, drinking and meetin ladies. Now, that's a weekend.

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