Sunday, September 7, 2008

Getting Called Out

Just got back from DC with The Don and Prestige, which was crazy fun. Prestige and I got ourselves in with a bachelorette party who invited us to a strip club with them (the good kind), and I did a killer 8 minute seduction that I'm sure will be a part of any speech I give on physical escalation in the future. It was a fun trip.

A few students got called out while in field, which isn't a big deal at all. It happens at least once a bootcamp. It usually has to do with not being genuine or believable. You don't seem to actually be living the situation that you are describing in your opener, so women look for reasons why you would be making it up, the most obvious being that you are trying to do that thing from that one TV show with that guy who picks up women and stuff.

It also seems to be a cause of anxiety. "What if they know?!?!! What if they know I want to sleep with them??!?!!!! What if they know I'm hitting on them?!?!? What if they've seen the show and they KNOW??!?!?!?!"

Guys, it is not a big deal at all. It isn't.

First of all, there are a TON of ways to deal with getting called out. Second of all, it is FINE to go hit on women. There is nothing to be ashamed of. If you see a woman that you are attracted to, you SHOULD go talk to her and flirt with her and try to get to know her. If some woman acts like she caught you because you were trying to do this, then she is the weird one. Treat her like such. "Yeah, because it's such a bad thing to want to talk to cute girls."

But enough proselytizing. I hear through the grapevine that Mystery's show just got picked up for another season, so in honor of Pickup suddenly being pushed to the front of popular culture once more, here are a few simple solutions to getting called out.

"Is this like from that pickup show?"

A lot of people will suggest that you play dumb in this situation. Totally fine, but you have to be incredibly convincing. I acted for a long time in high school and college. I was pretty good at it, and yet I still don't do a convincing "what are you talking about?" when I KNOW what they are talking about. So I have two solutions to this problem.

The first one is to simply plow through.


BB: Is it okay to break up with someone via text message?
Girl: Is this like from that pickup show?
BB: A friend of mine just broke up with this girl he was seeing for only a few weeks, and he just got a call from some friend of hers saying it was a really shitty thing to do. What do you think?

You have to keep the energy up and have a strong frame, otherwise they will continue to bug you about it. Which brings me to the second solution.

Just the same way that it is okay to be a GIRL who has heard of "The Game" or "The Pickup Artist," it is okay to be a GUY who has heard of "The Game" or "The Pickup Artist." Simply existing in the world that those things exist in and knowing about it does not make you some sleaze ball. It makes you a normal person who has heard about things that exist in the world.

To that end, you should thank whoever is trying to call you out, because they are transitioning for you ie they are giving you something to start a conversation with.


BB: Is it okay to break up with someone via text message?
Girl: Is this from that pickup show?
BB: Oh my god. Did you watch that? I bet you watch all the shitty reality TV shows. I didn't ever catch a full episode, but I saw a few minutes where they were all crying together. It looked terrible.

Another Example:

Girl: Is that from "The Game"?
BB: Is that the book by Neil Strauss? I didn't get a chance to read that one, but I like his stuff from Rolling Stone. He did a great interview with what's his name from Borat. You know who I'm talking about?

And the conversation begins.

"Is that some sort of pickup line?"

Slightly different than the above scenarios, but just as easy to diffuse. You can plow through, as I mentioned above, or use one of the contingencies from below.

"Yeah, how'd it work? On a scale of 1-10, how much are you gonna sleep with me now?"

"Yeah. My mom gave me two pickup lines to use tonight. She said I needed to get out of the basement and either get a job or a girlfriend. Let me try the other one real quick."

"Yeah, I'm a pickup artist. (in ridiculous voice) HELLO, LADIES!"

"No. Does that sound like a pickup line? That'd be a terrible pickup line."

"Yeah, I'm in love with you. Anyways..."

"That's not a pickup line. A pickup line is something like...'your dad's a thief because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes' or some shit. I didn't even think people actually used those."

If there are any other ways that people get called out that don't fit into the above paradigms, then please email me and I will include ways to defuse them as well.


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